Repent and believe, ye sinners, I actually KNIT something!

7 10 2007

Ok. I have actually KNIT something and FINISHED it. Jimmy’s sister is having a baby in a few weeks and rather than keep knitting that baby kimono, which I of course messed up, I got the Huggable Hedgehog pattern and some yarn. 

Here it is on the needles so you know for sure that I knit it:

Here it is in a pot of boiling water:

Here it is drying outside:


Here it is just chillin’ on the patio:

I know these are boring photos, but I fell like I need to prove that I actually knit it. I love this thing, I really do!


Pattern: Huggable Hedgehog for Fiber Trends by Debbie Radke

Yarn: One skein of Perendale Naturally New Zealand Yarns, one skein and a tiny bit of a second eyelash yarn, Temptation Naturally New Zealand Yarns.

Modifications: The recipe calls for knitting this hedgie flat, even though it’s on circulars. I took this to mean that if I wanted to knit in the round that would be just fine. But you know what this means? It means this thing is oddly-shaped, even after felting, and it has stitches in its side where I had to make a small hole to allow for stuffing. Whatever. It’s for a baby! She’ll probably barf on it a time or two. That is, if her mother doesn’t take one look at it and shove it in the drawer. I’d totally let my baby have a hedgehog!

Weird toys are the best. Especially hand-knit toys from an auntie with total baby fever.

I Love Ross the Intern

30 04 2007


I love Ross the Intern. I wish I were his type. Actually, I’m being judgmental. I might be his type, but I have a sneaking suspicion I lack certain accoutrements that would inspire him to ring my bell. I’ve chosen him as my Celebrity Fit Club workout buddy. I guess that doesn’t really mean anything, seeing as how I’ll never meet the man and therefore have the opportunity to work out with him. UNLESS! Maybe he secretly reads my blog and will be so touched to hear that he’s inspired me that he’ll contact me and offer to come do my Boot Camp Couch to 5k routine with me for a day or two! Yeah yeah yeah! But check out how skinny he is already. Gah! Will he develop a haughty demeanor now that he looks like a super model? I hope not. I want to give a special hello to my sweet SillyRabbit, who has joined me in this particular brand of torture. Only 12 today, sweetness! Wahoo!! And now, knitting!

I don’t want to say this out loud, but I do think it bears mentioning. I’ve made much progress on my Icarus re-do and am nearing the point I was at when the whole thing fell apart. I’m not sure if it was the voodoo dolly kiss-up photo, the Seven Buddhas photo, or whispering to the yarn “I love you I love you I love you”, but it seems to be going much better now. Ok, there are two holes that I fixed by threading a snippet of yarn through and tying a knot, but you seriously can’t tell, and besides, it will be symbolic. Yes! Since this is going to be my wedding shawl it’s only proper that it has some glitches and fixes. I’m all about the symbolism, baby, and I’m all about trying to catch up to Theresa. And seriously, you can’t even tell. And if you can, I don’t want to hear it!

Check out how nicely everything is coordinated! Now all of the yarn for this shawl is kept in plastic bags in the black case, which was a Lancome freebie last year. I think I spent the GDP of Micronesia, so they gave me this case and another, smaller bag that actually holds make-up. Behind it is my consolation purchase that I got when the demonic jewelry store told me they had fixed my necklace and actually hadn’t, and when I asked for a replacement chain because the original had been damaged twice now, ok, this is not worth telling. Anyway, my new knitting bag! I LOVE it. Love it. Further evidence, by the way, that Theresa is exercising her mental powers of persuasion on me yet again. You’ll see that she is going through a black and white phase, and just for kicks is making me go through one, too. At least it’s not fuchsia (that’s a strange word to spell) and puce. That’s when I start wearing a tinfoil hat.


All right, I need to go walk briskly for 20 minutes, and then come home to do 12 sit-ups and push-ups. Saturday AND Sunday I did the run/walk thing and I wasn’t supposed to. Every other day. The good thing, though, is that muscles that have long lay dormant are now springing back to life and screaming at my insensitivity. Have a good day, everybody!

And They Brought Me Their Comfort, and Later They Brought Me Their Song

8 04 2007




Here are the players so far. If your name is not here, please let me know. The WordPress Spam Hatchet sometimes gets a bit carried away.













**UPDATE!** Six entries so far! Come on, people! You don’t want someone else to run away with the prize, doooooo yoooooooooouuuu?


So I had this 100th post contest all planned out. But somehow WordPress uses a different counting method than I do, so I’m a bit off. In any case! Hooray, 100th post! I’ve been at this a little less than a year, so that averages out to a not quite one every other day. Dang but I talk a lot!

In addition to seemingly ceaseless babble, I also enjoy me some good music. Sprinkled here and there, starting with the November 13th post, there have been little bits of songs used as post titles. From the moment I hit “publish” until noon on Friday, April 13th, I’ll be taking contest entries. Please give me the name of the recording artist/group and song title from *each* post title. I’ll be moderating comments, so everyone has an equal shot here. I’ll hold off publishing comments until Friday so you won’t be giving each other hints. Whoever has the highest number of correct answers is the Grand Prize Winner! In the case of a tie (and I’m sure there will be many, seeing as how Google rules the universe and all) I’ll draw a name at random and announce the winner this weekend!

Not all post titles are song snippets! Some are just plain old words. And it is possible to have more than one correct artist/group name. This next part is important, so make sure you include it with your answer:

What’s one yarn you’ve always wanted to try but never have? Put that in with your answer. Please. Yes.

I love knit blogs. I spend so much time on knit blogs, far more than I spend actual knitting time. I’ve become acquainted with many many wonderful, talented, sweet, caring people. Knitters rule! (Crocheters drool!) (Just kidding. Sort of. No, I’m kidding.) Learning to knit has been one of the best gifts I’ve ever given myself. I love yarn, I love to look at it, smoosh it against my (clean!) cheek, pile it in a gigantic, pretty bowl, or into a huge basket. I don’t like to have a huge stash, though, because I feel it mocking me. “Just one more thing to add to the list of Things Not Done! Slacker!” But alas, I still love knitting.

Now, seeing as how JungleJim has stepped up the level of wedding parts, including such phrases as “Let’s get married in Sedona” and “So this is the ring you want?” and my favorite “Let’s have a chocolate wedding cake!” (with croquembouche!) I’m sure the frequency of wedding posts will soon out-pace the frequency of yarn and knitting posts. And that will probably get old, so I’ll try to tame it. I’m sure you’re not reading this. I’m sure you’re already checking for song titles.

Seriously. Title, artist, yarn you’ve always wanted to try.

That’s all! You have until Friday the 13th ! Surely a lucky day for someone!



In My Life, Oh, Why Do I Give Valuable Time?

5 04 2007

Greetings! I hope you’re all well. I have been oh so busy, but life is good!

This afternoon was the funeral I envisioned for my ex-mother-in-law last Saturday morning, a vision which flashed through my pretty little head a full THIRTEEN HOURS before she unexpectedly collapsed and DIED while watching her son (my ex-husband) play a rugby match. In other words, for no reason in particular I thought about her funeral. Several hours later she was dead. Slowly, now, let that sink in.

Yes. Like He-Man used to bellow, I have the POWER!

I’d like now to turn our attention to some (rhymes with wahoo) nalbinding group members who are in a bit of a tizzy about my Fong pattern. I’ve come up with a visual aid to help you get out of the tizzy and onto more important things. Such as the fact that many people think nalbinding involves the swift and forceful insertion of rusty nails under the toenails of unsuspecting victims. Where were we? Ah yes, the visual aid. Thank you, Bezzie, for the inspiration! (SEE? I always mention my source of inspiration, unless there isn’t a source because then I’d just be talking to myself and seriously, people, I’m not the crazy one around here.)

Ready, all you agitated (rhymes with wahoo) nalbinders?

Regia’s Footsies pattern is to a Panty Girdle as OLPP’s Fong pattern is to a sexy, sassy thong.


Panty girdle:


Sexy, sassy thong:

See? I hope this has cleared things up for you. Several days ago I noticed quite a few hits on my blog stats from this (rhymes with wahoo) nalbinding group. So I checked them out to read what they were saying. Sure enough, those goofy nalbinders were all a-twitter about the strange resemblance between my Fong and Regia’s Footsies pattern. (This pattern, by the way, was written in German, a language I neither speak, nor read, nor write.) I didn’t care enough to join the group and alert them to their foolishness and really, I was happy to let it go at that. But then one of the group members sent me this little note: “If you join the Nalbinding (OLPP’s edit: rhymes with wahoo) group and go to message 1932, you’ll see a different version of the fong (they call it a “footsie”) that you might want to check out.”

No, Susan P, that’s not a different version of my Fong. That’s like saying a shrug is a different version of a sweater vest. But my Fong is not a different version of Footsies, either. That would mean that I took inspiration from that pattern, and since I neither speak German nor belong to your (rhymes with wahoo) nalbinding group, the chances of my having seen, read, and ripped off the pattern are extraordinarily slim. Infinitesimally so. (That means I hadn’t seen it before, so, all you haters, I couldn’t have plagiarized.)

I wonder if these (rhymes with wahoo) nalbinder group members are similarly incensed every time a new sweater or sock pattern is published. After all, once upon a time the very first ever sweater was knitted. And socks, too, socks are old. Scarves as well! Do you all strike up a slightly snippy conversation every time someone puts up a new, FREE, scarf pattern? Come on. Lighten up already. It’s not like I said “I’ve created a device which will allow you suck up liquid beverages out of a glass without picking up the glass it’s in, and I call it a STRAW! Buy yours here!!”

I’m glad I was able to clear this up for you. Remember: Regia’s Footsies = Panty Girdle, and OLPP’s Fong = sexy, sassy thong. By they way- that thong you see up there is available for purchase at Bobo’s House of Chicken Porn. Now serving Hush, puppies!

Now I bid you good day. Oh, and I keep forgetting- this weekend I’ll post the BIG ANNOUNCEMENT for my 100th post contest! And this one is going to be GOOD, so stay tuned! (Ah, a hint already!)




And When the World is Through With Us, We’ll Have Each Other’s Arms

12 03 2007

I fall in and out of love rather easily. Very easily, I’d say. I have a heart that is at once the size of the African continent and cold as the un-planet Pluto. Last year I fell in love with knitting. And I still love her. I also fell in love with all things knitting-related: wonderful yarns, all sorts of needles, books, magazines, notions, all the accouterments and trappings of a new love. I also fell in love with other people who had fallen in love with knitting. I fell in love with a message board through with they frequently professed their love AND discussed everything else under the sun. But now I think, am I a solitary creature? Am I fickle? Do I perhaps lack a certain maturity to live and let live? I don’t think so. I’ve simply fallen out of love. I have nothing left to give, and so many others do. Things come out the wrong way, I lack the patience to defend or listen to another’s defense. As my best friend Thom Yorke sings, “my thoughts are misguided, I’m a little naïve.”

Is that my way of saying I don’t want to play anymore? I suppose. Can I be a knitting island and still hope to have a penpalship going on? I guess I’ll find out. But just so you know, you’ve written and I do love you!

Speaking of! Here’s a future sock.

Stats: STR Fire on The Mountain, the prize I won from Cara!

Needles: size 2 Clover DPNs

Pattern: Broadripple from Knitty! Seriously, is there any better pattern for this yarn? I think not. The name, the colors, it’s perfect! I was going to say kismet, but I’m not sure what that is exactly, and that reminds me that I need to Google the Southwest Gestalt Center that I pass every once in a while. I’ve got no idea what that place is or does. Anyway, a future sock.  I swear, that might be the best picture I’ve ever taken.  It’s as though I could TOUCH that sock.  Even though I can….

Here is the baby bag for J’s sister’s baby! I know baby bag is not its official name, but J calls it a baby bag and I’m such a lemming, I will, too.

Stats: Brown Sheep Co.’s Cotton Fleece

Needles: KPO size 6 circs

Pattern: Apple form MagKnits

It’s quite soft, and I think it will be great for a D.C.-area baby come November time when she or he is due to arrive! Val assures me that Cotton Fleece is machine washable despite the caution urged by the label, which is good because I cannot imagine anyone these days putting to repeated use a baby item that had to be hand washed.

School is school. Keeping my very busy. I subbed last week and it was pure hell. I tell you what, if you think you’re just a few good deeds shy of admittance through the pearly gates, spend a few days as a substitute high school teacher. In Phoenix.


Batty! When you read this, let me know if you’d like that messenger bag I made. It’s still sitting in my drawer. I’d be very happy to send it to you if you think you’d be able to use it, or make it into something else. I know you liked the fabric, so let me know!

I hope you all are well. Thank you for reading.

I Just Want Your Extra Time and Your (Hershey’s) Kiss

23 01 2007

Last night I dreamt entirely in Chocolate. Two childhood friends and I were at a café and all of the food was chocolate. Chocolate cake, cupcakes, brownies, cookies (but no pie, which is odd because today is National Pie Day!), everything was chocolate. In my dream, my delight was such that all I could do was giggle! I woke myself up giggling! Today was indeed a good day, even though I spent it largely with my BLE textbooks, becoming very vexed indeed that seemingly nothing can escape the insidious encroachment of politics.


The yarn you see above is Tofustsies from South West Trading Company.  Tofutsies! The color shceme is Stand on Your Own Two Feet.  (I’m sorry, I’m not Old School enough to say ‘colorway.’)  And I must thank my Secret Pal again for the Sensational Knitted Socks book! Without it, I would have stuck this yarn in the bottom of my stash, never to look at it or touch it again. I am having so much fun knitting this. I just LOVE it! It’s springy, soft, and wonderfully colorful. What’s not to love? I do admit to being a bit perplexed by the shrimp and crab shells, and since this is only the second pair of socks I’ve knit I’ll be honest and say the curiosity factor is what made me buy the yarn, not any love of sock knitting. However, I may indeed be a sockaholic now because of it! It’s apparently naturally antibacterial, which is a good thing. That’s all I’m saying.  It’s not as squishy (there’s that word!) or fluffy as my poorly lit shot would have you believe, but it is fun.  It glides nicely, but never slips.  So there we have it. Tofutsies, I love you!

This is going to be a new purse for me. She shall have bamboo handles and a wild bright lining that has goldish accents.

Ok! Salmon and wild rice for dinner. Care to join us?

Let’s Make it Clear That This is Free Love

12 01 2007

Ok, to clarify, I believe those two items down there to be slippers socks, not straight up socks. So if’n someone has a hankerin’ to laugh with glee at my “I should try STR” essay, I didn’t lie when I said I’ve only knit one pair of socks

Perhaps I should expound a bit.  Here’s my plea:


I don’t know if I can best the Floyd’s Knobs lady. I have made one pair of socks, and it was for my father for Christmas. It wasn’t very enjoyable, as I knit it with Cascade something or other in a solid (but lovely) chocolate color. It was very very boring. Emphasis on the very. And the boring. I’m worried, though, that like every loss of virginity experience, I’ll fall into a love that won’t be reciprocated. I’ll turn into some sort of sad, clingy girl, and look for the bittersweet tang of First Love with the entire STR line! Here’s how it’ll go down:
“STR, you never call me!”

“But after we met you bought eighteen of my brothers!”

“But but but… you were my first! The most special! Doesn’t that MEAN anything to you?”

“I thought it meant something to you! But all you do is walk all over me!”

“Well, you’re *socks*. I thought that’s what you wanted!”

“How would you know what I want? You just stuck needles into me, twisted me around, and you wouldn’t even do Magic Loop!”

“Magic Loop! I’m not that kind of girl!” And that’s when I’d throw that pair of socks in for a wash, because only dirty socks would suggest such a thing.

I now leave you to sing Depeche Mode songs to yourself.