I figured that the South Beach Diet with which I am currently torturing my fat ass would leave me hungry. I figured I might be a bit snappy with friends and loved ones and everyone else on the planet. What I did not figure is that it would make me completely brain dead. I have had a very hard time waking up these past few mornings, and I’ve always been a morning person so this was quite a disappointment. I’ve never stumbled around my kitchen bleary-eyed before, so this day has already been full of new experiences. Coffee, of course, which I love and will gleefully admit has me addicted, so I wandered over to the pot, rinsed it out, filled it with water, poured the water into the reservoir, put the pot down, placed a filter in the basked, and scooped eleven scoops of coffee into the filter. Close the basket, flip the switch, wait for coffee. Listen to the pretty sounds of what in a few minutes I will realize is a coffee waterfall, a coffee fall, if you will, roaring from my countertop onto my floor. Right, because when I put the coffee pot in the counter, I should have put it on the warmer plate under the basket in the coffee maker itself. But alas, I did not.
Not soon after my precious daughter (who, by the way, loved having me volunteer as a lunch lady, go figure!) had a serious flip-out over clothes that no longer fit her but she still insisted on wearing. I cannot allow my children to start the school day al upset and in tears, so while I wanted to throttle the bad attitude right out of her nearly-pubertyish self, I did not. I took so many deep breaths that I became light-headed. But again, that could be South Beach Diet. During the drive to school we spied with our little eyes an elderly couple on a morning stroll through the neighborhood. To cheer my delightful daughter and ensure a joyful start to her school day, I told her that the old folks were casing the neighborhood looking for houses to rob. We howled with laughter making up stories about The Cult of Elderly Thieves, and how the members sell their goods on eBay to raise funds for their new sports stadium.
And that is how I’ve spent my morning.
Oh, and PS: Here is a picture of the baked brie in a pastry puff shell that I made on Thanksgiving. Proof that I am not always a disaster in the kitchen. I also won the gravy cook-off, thanks.