My Other Ride is Your Boyfriend*

4 10 2007

I know, I’m late.  Tomorrow is New Topic Day and I still haven’t done How I Get Around.  Knittyhead BS Week #3.

I have a 2001 Nissan Maxima.  I love her V6 engine.  When our time together comes to an end I will need another car with a V6 engine.  Can I get a V6 Prius?

So my car is a mess.  But she’s how I get around.  I really do love that car.  I’ve had it for two years now, which is sort of a record for me.  I had a white Ford Escort wagon that died shortly after I moved to Wisconsin.  Then I bought a white Dodge Neon that died almost a year after I moved here.  Come to think of it, since I haven’t moved to a new state, things should be just fine with Pearl.

Anyway, here she is resting in the garage.



Ok.  Here I am driving down the street.  My Treo camera is a bit slow, so I snapped the picture and then pulled away from the stop sign.  I wasn’t really cruisin’ my ‘hood taking pictures while my car was in motion, even though that’s precisely what it looks I was doing.  Notice the Check Engine!! light is on. 


Here’s the front seat.  Notice how I cleverly laid the window shade across the passenger seat so that you can’t see all the crap I have stashed in there.  Clever!

Here’s the back seat.  I wonder why my kids’ part of the car is cleaner than my part of the car?


I’m not showing you the trunk.  There may or may not be things in it. 

Finally, here are my feet.  Freshly pedicured by a lady who was approximately 17 months pregnant.  Yes, L, I did give her a big tip.  No one that pregnant should have to touch someone else’s stank ass feet, even though they’re not stank ass anymore because they soaked in a tub of lovely, frothy, cleansing bubbles.


You may see the scar on my left foot and then see the scar on my right foot.  These scars might lead you to believe that I am developing the Stigmata.  Do not be fooled by these simple scars.  Surely when God bestows that gift it will not be upon me.  Although, how do I know?  I should not pretend to know God’s will.  I’m only saying this because my version of belief in God doesn’t run with traditional versions of belief in God.  It’s the former Catholic schoolgirl, deacon’s daughter part of me that compels me to say these blasphemous things.  

I don’t know what I’m saying.  Anyway, that’s how I roll.  Peace out, heffas.


Also, you should know I took that Which Tarot Card Are You  quiz and it turns out that I am THE High Priestess.  Not A High Priestess, but THE High Priestess.  This means I get to tell people when they’re being irritating, whining twits who just need to get laid once and for all.  I know, that’s a daring and perhaps rebellious stance to take.


*Seriously, that is SO MUCH a joke.  I’m not a man-thief.  I just didn’t want to write something like “check out my ride” or “here’s my car.”






11 responses

4 10 2007

Um, a white Escort, a white Neon and now a white Maxima. Are you a white car supremacist?? 😉

5 10 2007

Ah, behold THE High Priestess. I’ve been looking for you. I have a few people you need to call.

5 10 2007

Seriously, that is SO MUCH a joke. I’m not a man-thief. I just didn’t want to write something like “check out my ride” or “here’s my car.”

That’s okay, I don’t have a boyfriend. My husband would hate me ;D

5 10 2007

Since bezzie took the too may white cars joke, weezalana stole my high preistess joke, and Marg ran wil the boyfriend thing….. I have to go with “eyeball lick”! I used to threaten the monsters with eyeball licks…. That’s probably waaaaay too creepy.

5 10 2007

OK, that is SO THE Official Arizona State Car! You know it too! Window shades, (Or ‘blast shields’ as I call them) are useful little buggers to cover all sorts of things and hide them from prying eyes. Your feet are so narrow and pretty. I think I would prance around barefoot day and night with those feet.

5 10 2007

Now you’ve got me curious about the trunk.

5 10 2007

Is there a body in that trunk?

6 10 2007

A body with the stigmata?

6 10 2007

1. The subject line of this post is reason # 9,438 why I love you.
2. I also want a Prius.
3. *pet*

7 10 2007

Peace out heffas! Yay!

I left your blog open on my computer for a full three days so I could just see your post title on my tabs. You are fantastic.

14 07 2010

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