Yellow Ledbetter

1 07 2007

A few days ago I got to thinking, which rarely ends up anywhere good.  I decided that if SH got assigned a residency in another state (that’s if he’s still in medical school, and I don’t know if he is or not because we don’t talk at al unless it’s about the kids, and only then if it’s absolutely necessary) and things didn’t work out with JungleJim and me, I’d pack up my minions and the three of us would move to Portland.

I’m sure what I’m about to type might offend any Portland peeps, and for that I apologize in advance.  I mean no disrespect.

I watched a “news” story on MSNBC about the huge runaway population in Portland, and the rampant drug use and violence that festers among these lost, young souls.  Now, I talk to my kids about drug use and abuse all the time, I make them watch Faces of Meth and every single special episode Oprah dedicates to this epidemic.  Since my kids are 10 and 9, this hopefully is having an impact on them, preferably “Holy shit, I will never ever do drugs.”  Jim and I are very supportive of the kids, we talk all the time about all sorts of things, and this is hopefully instilling in my beasties the understanding that we are here for them no matter what.  I don’t want them to run away (duh, who hopes for that?) and become crack addicts on the mean (although super pretty!) streets of Portland.  I don’t really believe that Portland has mean streets.  If I could, I’d bring all the homeless kids home to live with me.

 I don’t for a moment believe that the mean streets of Phoenix are any less mean than Portland.  Perhaps MSNBC just doesn’t feel the need to do a show on Phoenix, it’s a given that the streets are mean.  I have no idea.  I didn’t want to live here, but until Daddy Warbucks gets us that RV he’s forever looking at online, here we are.  

The most ridiculous part of this whole thing was my “If things don’t work out with Jim…” bit.  I love that man.  It’s crazy, the love I have for him.  I’d never leave his sweet ass for Portland, or any other –land.  He’s having surgery this Friday, poor lamb.  It’s a lung transplant, and he’s getting one of mine.

 That lung transplant thing was a COMPLETE LIE.  What kind of sick person would make up such a thing?  Me, and I’ve had some red wine and that’s what happens.  That Portland thing, though, I did see that on MSNBC.  It rather broke my heart.   The surgery part is true,  just not the lung part.  He’ll be ok under  the influence of my intense  care-giving and whatever meds he can finagle from the docs.

 Ed remarked a few comments ago that this was allegedly a knitting blog, and that’s true.  But seriously, this summer session, nay, grad school, has been eating up my knitting time (as has Ravelry, as has my obsession with knitting blogs in general) and c’mon!  The main thing I’m working on is my Icarus, and it looks an awful lot like it’s looked the past few months, just bigger.  But I’m now on the 5th repeat of chart one and hope to have that done this week, and then we’ll REALLY have something to see!

Two finals, four research critiques due this week.

Sorry for that bit about the lung transplant.  And yes, Portland, I still dream of you.

 

PS-  SIX DAYS until Le Tour de France!!  Je ne peut pas esperer!  Or something…

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12 responses

1 07 2007
babblingbrook

PDXer here & not offended 🙂 I don’t really feel like Portland has mean streets. There are a couple of places I wouldn’t really want to go late at night & while there are drugs, I feel most of it is pot.

It’s just kind of funny, that they would report on Portland of all places.

1 07 2007
oldladypenpal

It’s jealousy, ma’am, this feeling I’m feeling. Can you imagine anything so surprising? Portland, of all places! Now, I will say that I peered carefully at each shop front during this show, and didn’t see any yarn shops. So obviously the crackheads don’t hang out in yarny areas.
(I suppose I should have added something about the prostitutes that we frequently see here, just to be fair!)

1 07 2007
dillydallyknitter

Maybe the Reporter had to go to Portland for a wedding and wanted to find a way for MSNBC to pay for it and pitched this story to the editor about the Mean streets of Portland….or maybe it’s past my bedtime….

….(I’ve only been once, but I don’t think of Portland as being that scary)

2 07 2007
Meg

Moi non plus! (re le tour!!)
Never been to portland or phoenix so who am I to say!

2 07 2007
bezzie

Um yeah, Dateline has been doing that Portland is Ghetto story for a long time now. I remember watching an episode years ago about the white heroin trade there.

I guess Phoenix just doesn’t have any cool drugs on it’s mean streets that are newsworthy enough.

2 07 2007
Batty

Yeah, when I think ‘drug-invested hellhole’, Portland isn’t exactly the first city that comes to mind. But talking about drugs is important, and I think your kids are getting the message.

2 07 2007
Ed

The very mention of the name Portland sent a shiver down my spine. You see Portland is where the R.N. used to send it’s ships for Operational Sea Training, six weeks of misery, early starts and very late nights with battle simulations lasting all day interspersed with battle damage exercises.
But the best bit was, if you sucked, you had to do it all again! But this time you where knackered before you started.
Good luck Jim.

2 07 2007
Megan

Another Portlander here…I think one of the reasons Portland has a large population of street kids is because we have such mild weather and lots of social services for folks in need. Certainly we don’t have any “mean streets”.

I have seen one of the Dateline shows about Portland and the heroin issue. To me it was a tad alarmist. I think Dateline and MSNBC should find another city to pick on.

2 07 2007
oldladypenpal

Megan, I agree, the “news” shows could definitely find other cities (say, perhaps the one I live in!) that would benefit from such a story.
And when I said mean streets, that was entirely sass. I’ve been to Portland and I love it, absolutely love it. Beautiful, clean, safe, full of culture, so much to see and do. We’d find homeless kids and drug addicts anywhere. Again, probably more in the city I live in although I’m sure the focus would be in the number of illegal aliens.
It’s the inherent function of tabloid news programs to be alarmist. They have to justify their existence somehow.

4 07 2007
Debby

I’ve only visited Portland once but it didn’t scare me nearly as much as some of the cities in my region — Bridgeport for one. Hartford for another. Egads. People are always getting shot there.

4 07 2007
Linnea

Okay. I’m minorly confused. But maybe that’s because I am working on my third (not second – third!) glass of cheapo German delicioso white wine. At two Euro per liter, you really can’t beat it. Anyway. I’m confused because no one has yet mentioned yellow bedwetters. Which, when PJ was quite popular and played practically non-stop on the local alternative Seattle radio station back in the ’90s, was what someone requested. Yellow bed wetter.

Portland is a really neat city. Powell’s Books comes to mind. I could live there. Possibly with a couple of kids. As for Arizona street culture… Dammit. Nevermind.

4 07 2007
oldladypenpal

Arizona has street culture? You mean besides the prostitutes and meth addicts and people living and working here illegally? Maybe that’s just Phoenix culture. Don’t get me started. I know I’d love Portland, we’d just have to ramp up the Say No to Drugs talk. Although, there was a news story here not that long about about grade school kids buying strawberry-flavored meth and meth that looks like Parmesan cheese, so it’s time to ramp up the Say No to Drugs talk anyway.

Look, this post didn’t adequately describe my desire to move to Portland and my shock at learning of the runaway/drug epidemic, that’s all. I’d still move there in a heartbeat if not for SH and JungleJim. Damn these men.

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