Chocolate Croquembouche*

18 05 2007

I seriously thought I was going to escape this meme!

Well. I don’t know that there are seven weird things about me, Risa, but I shall certainly do my best.

1. You know that old saying “I wouldn’t want to be part of any club that would have me as a member”? My grades this semester were such that I’ve landed myself on the Dean’s List. Now, I know just how much effort I put into those classes, so I can’t say that I’m very impressed with myself OR my university for that honor. Oh well. I’ll take it.

2. I have wanted someone to lick my eyeball ever since reading one of those lists years ago that proclaimed such a thing demonstrated a certain type of deviance. Not a big old slurp, mind you, just a little quick “EW! You actually DID it!” and then be done with it. I might regret saying that out loud.

3. My ex-husband has a name that you would automatically think is a girl’s name, and so does the man I dated before I met JungleJim. However, all of the significant loves of my life have a name that starts with the letter J. Except William Shatner. But he lets me call him Jelly Bean, so he counts.

No he doesn’t.

4. I have a tattoo of a lizard with a four-leaf clover in its mouth because at the time I got it, I was dating a boy (another J name!) who either is or wholeheartedly wanted to be Irish.  We we went on a weekend trip together only to discover later that we’d forgotten our toothbrushes. So we stopped to buy new brushes and picked out ones that had lizards on them. The next day we went to Lyle Tuttle Tattooing in San Francisco and got tattoos. Me: lizard clover mouth. Him: some sort of Celtic knot. Not two weeks later we broke up. Let this be a lesson to you. Whether it be about dating boys with J names, or going on weekend trips without toothbrushes, or tattooing in general, take heed, young reader, take heed.

5. Um. Ever since the Great Cricket Infestation of ’06, I cannot sleep with the bathroom door open. It must be closed. ALL the way. This is in stark contrast to doors, bathroom and closet, of my youth which had to be left open just a tiny bit, after I read The Boogeyman in a collection of short stories by Stephen King.  I truly believe that reading that story did me some great psychological harm.  I’m over it now, though.  No, seriously.

6. When I was in boot camp I suffered severe dehydration and had to carry around a water jug with a cup for a lid. It looked like an urn, so I told everyone I was carrying around my Uncle Bernie’s ashes. I never had an Uncle Bernie, and I’m pretty sure people knew those weren’t ashes I was drinking. Look, I was really sick!

7. Ok, since this is #7, I feel it’s only appropriate to dedicate this last factoid to Terrell Collins, who was in boot camp during the same time I was. He was in my brother company, and when our female company split in half, our brother company also split in half, and we swapped halves. We’d have to count off our rows, and Terrell Collins was behind me. So I’d count off SIX, and he’s count off SEVEN. But he said it in such a sexy, sultry way so as to cause me shivers on many occasions. Boot camp is one of the silliest places I’ve been, and after a while you forget that you haven’t shaved your legs or underarms or seen a reflection of your face in seven weeks. You will never feel as unattractive as you do during boot camp, not even during or after childbirth! However, hearing this man groan out the word “Seven” was very often too much for me, and it was during those last four weeks of boot camp that I was plagued with the most vivid and raunchy sex dreams the likes of which I’d never had before, nor since.

I’ve taken this too far. Well? You asked for weird! I’m also none too sure that there are seven knitters I know who haven’t been tagged yet. If you haven’t, please, do list your seven weird things. But don’t restrict yourselves to seven. Forge on, and Vivo los Grillz!

*Because Kristen loves me!




10 responses

18 05 2007

I like that you created a post catergory of “eyeball lick” because seriously, you might have a lot more entries about that.

Was it Jamie?



18 05 2007

I might use it again! Especially if I can get Jim to do it!
No, the ex’s name starts with an S (as in SH! C’mon! You knew that!) and the dating guy started with a K.
I’ve been dreaming up swanky yarn porn for you, Bez!

18 05 2007

I just had to tag you, because I knew you’d crack me up 🙂
Thanks for playing!

19 05 2007

Now this is a good one. I mean really, really good. Then again, having boot camp as part of your life experience is probably enough to ensure a wealth of stories, I used to love listening to my dad’s when I was little!

19 05 2007

I’ll lick your eyeball!!! I will!

20 05 2007

Damn, Theresa beat me to it!

20 05 2007

Shannon and Kelly or Kim

I must go Google Terrell Collins now.

20 05 2007

This guy? “Kenneth Terrell Collins is an Apostle and Senior Pastor of Christian Nation’s Center, INC based in Brooklyn, NY. For over 25 years, he has been a minister …”

20 05 2007

No, that’s not him, but I TOTALLY dig anyone who’s spurned into Google Action! Nicely done!

20 05 2007

A search for William Shatner Jelly Bean led me to your blog… And I don’t even want to know what kind of hits you’ll get for eyeball licking. Well, maybe that’s not entirely true.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: