I Like Big Butts and I Cannot Lie

27 04 2007

So. When last I posted I whined about becoming outrageously plump. Maybe those weren’t my exact words, and some people might have missed my point because I made mention of my dalliances with the naked, sweaty Marine, but the time has come to get off my sadly rotund rump and do something for myself. How exactly did I get myself so fit while living in that dusty sand pit of a town? Why, it was nothing more than an extension of the actual, real live, I did indeed go through it, Navy boot camp. Here’s what it was: push ups, sit ups, and a 1.5 mile run every other day. Starting with the very first day, we had to do the number of sit ups and push ups that corresponded with the current training day, which was designated by the week and the day. For example, or, as I like to say, por ejemplo:

Week one, day one is the one-one training day. First week, first day. 1 1. Eleven. So on and so forth, through the end of the week, which would mean 17. Get it? So during the second week you’d start with 21. Second week, first day. And there we go! I know I cheated many many times with the push ups. Seriously, who can do 92 push ups? Not me. Not even then when I had Angelina Jolie Tomb Raider biceps. But I did do 92 sit ups when all was said and done. So that’s what I’m going to do, Training day count push ups and sit ups, and 1.5 miles every other day. I’m using the Couch to 5k method to get running, because seriously, everyone, it hurts to run when you have lovely lady humps. And by humps I mean a large ass.

Moving on!

I’m sure everyone, and by everyone I mean Theresa, is tired of hearing me whine about my Icarus and the trouble I’m having with it. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve started over on CHART ONE. If you’ve ever knit an Icarus you know how terribly easy chart one is to knit. I’m ashamed. Here he is in his current incarnation. I thought it best to pose him with my lucky bamboo and my Seven Buddhas, which we affectionately call the Seven Booties because Chloe’s friend misunderstood me.

Here’s the start of a pair of socks I’m knitting for my mentor teacher that I’ve been with this past semester. Beth has been great, and I adore her, absolutely adore her. I’ll be sad to leave her and her kids, I’ve had a great semester, but now I’m pretty sure I want to teach Jr. high and not full-on high school. I’m knitting her a little pair of ankle socks in Panda Cotton, which is actually mostly bamboo, then cotton, and some nylon. I like it. It’s good stuff! I emailed her and asked for her shoe size, but so far I’ve received no response. I wonder if she thinks that was an improper question. Maybe she thinks I’m flirting with her, trying to get a better evaluation. I’m not. Although it’s worth a shot.

There! I leave you with that. And I just want to give a shout-out (Heeeey-yah!) to my Fitter Knitters! I hug you all. And if you want to join, send me a comment and we’ll hook you up!

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3 responses

27 04 2007
bezzie

Hm so maybe the dragonfly is full of good knitting mojo? Oh Buddah, don’t foresake OLPP!!!

27 04 2007
TiFF

I like how you have lovely lady humps. Do you tell Jim to, “Check it out!”? Your routine sounds like murder! I will have to give it a try. Afterall… you know me and my love for blood.

28 04 2007
Theresa

HAHAHAHA!

Also, now I’m feeling wobbly, what with my soon-to-be-40, oh-whoa-is-me-now-I-have-a-desk-job and too-much-chocolate ass (I said ass! Again!) spreading left-right-and-center.

Maybe I should do 1 sit up today. That’s what you were saying with all that math, right? 1 sit up today, 2 tomorrow, etc?

Oo, The Philadelphia Story is coming on!

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