Oohh, Whoah, Witchey Woman

23 04 2007

Am I the only person who thinks that the judges LIE about the celebrities’ weight on VH1’s Celebrity Fit Club? I’m sorry, but there’s no way that each of those women weigh less than 170. There’s just no way, unless they’re all very short. And I don’t think they are. Seriously. Way to make me feel like an ever CHUBBIER version of my once slender self. When I was at Goodfellow AFB 12 years ago for some Navy training I weighed in at 127 pounds, and I’m 5’7. I was a stick. I worked out all the time because in that sandy, dusty little pit of a town there was nothing to do but work out all the time, and sometimes, yes, that workout included a naked tumble with a very muscley Marine.

I’m sorry, where was I? Before the naked tumble part…

Ok, I’m back. Anyway, I worked out all the time and I was a stick. For my frame, yes, 127 pounds was a stick. I am in no way self-confident enough to tell you, lone reader, how much I weigh now, so let’s just leave it at this: more than 127.

I need to be on Celebrity Fit Club, but the only thing stopping me is my significant lack of fame. So let me ask you this: Does anyone want to do a Knit Blog Celebrity Fit Club with me? (I am in NO WAY suggesting my blog is well-known, except to those wacked out Nalbinders and Free Form Crocheters, and that’s infamy anyway.) I’m not sure how it would work, and there have been several attempts to get similar things going, I’m sure, but is this even remotely interesting to anyone? What do you think?

In knitting news, as I lamented earlier and elsewhere, posing your voodoo dolly/action figure with your new, beloved yarn might *seem* like a kicky idea at the time, but that shit works, man. I’ve frogged my Icarus so many times that the yarn is turning back into kelp and attempting a mad dash back to the sea from whence it came.

Oh! And PS!  Here’s a handy trick from the Domestic Overlord.  If you find that you’ve cursed your yarn with a voodoo dolly/action figure, simply appease the voodoo creature with cigarettes, money, sex, drugs, chocolate, booze, porn, whatever you have at your disposal.  I only had a few of the suggested items, and I photographed even fewer.  Here we are then.


How is everyone?

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15 responses

23 04 2007
trillian42

Hmm.. a Blog Non-Celebrity Fit Club… I like it! I think I’d have to be in on that one.

And I know what you mean – if you see all the ads with Kirstie Alley, unless she’s 5 foot nothing, there’s no way she weighed as little as they claimed when she was at her biggest.

23 04 2007
bezzie

Hollywood has it’s own measurement system. I’m back to where I was before I had Chunky plus 2 pounds, I figure that’s not too bad right.

Does Icarus have something to do with the banner change?

23 04 2007
oldladypenpal

Yep, Bez, that yarn IS, I say IS, going to be knit up into an Icarus shawl for my wedding. Good thing it’s not til next April!

23 04 2007
Norm Deplume

My husband and I absolutely didn’t believe the weights on some of those women. Although they are shorter than they seem.

23 04 2007
Fee

I will be in on a non-celebrity blog fit clug shindig. what do i have to do??

23 04 2007
Laura

yeah I’m interested, but I need more details 🙂

23 04 2007
cpurl17

Umm, if I join, can I have a Kirstie weight vs. my IRL weight?

23 04 2007
Sandy

I might be interested.

23 04 2007
lynnea

I thought the men were weighing a little light, too. Ross the Intern, in particular. I’ll do a Celebrity Knit thing. I have a lot of ideas, if you’d like to send me an email maybe we can figure this thing out!

23 04 2007
P del F (Fireball)

I’m interested, love! Tell me more!

24 04 2007
Linnea

If you have a Non-Celebrity Fit Blogamajig, can we lie about our weights, too? Oh. What cpurl said, I mean…

Did the same thing at Goodfellow (interpret that as you will) although we had Bailey’s bar to keep us drunk and happy. Just like your voodoo doll, perhaps.

24 04 2007
Ed

Why has dolly/action figure got a head like a knitted pumpkin?

So you had a posting in the middle of nowhere when you where in the US navy?
There are a few of them like that for us in the Royal Navy and we either turn into gym bunnies like you did or get sent back to base port for a basket weaving course because we become alcoholics.

chin chin.

24 04 2007
Sarah the DomesticOverlord

Your little voodoo guy rules. Lovin’ the blue, it’s beautiful! Also, I find that I have greater authority to speak on matters of Dark Magick since I started controlling the weather last week. I totally think this will work. The Peeps really help.

25 04 2007
Penny Karma

For 50 cents, 3 Peeps and an Amstel Light, I’d be somebody’s bitch.

25 04 2007
poops

I’m sorry, I stopped reading after “sweaty Marine”….

Did you say something else?

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