And My Knitting Needles Say “Nyah Nyah!”

30 10 2006

Somehow the brilliant TSA employees at Detroit’s whatever it’s called airport decided that my Lancome Hypnose mascara and Matte T-Zone Gel posed a bigger safety threat than did my knit Picks Options circular needles that are currently snuggled deeply into the first of many balls of alpaca goodness sent to me by my Secret Pal! (For the uninitiated, KP Options circular needles are very very pointy. One could do damage if one wished. This one does not wish.)

I’d go back and edit that sentence but I don’t wanna. I don’t buy much makeup, but what I do buy is good stuff and I wanted to poke the eye of the woman who suggested I take my purse to the luggage counter and check it so that I could keep my mascara. Dummy. You now those TSA trolls are pocketing all the goodies they make fools like me throw out.

Poo on you, NBC, for not playing the commercials for the documentary The Dixie Chicks have coming out, “Shut Up and Sing.” I’m not a huge fan of the Chicks, but I thumb my nose at NBC for their ass-kissery, and submit that it’s precisely this eager puppy behavior of theirs that has landed them where they are, and will keep their feeble head underwater. Matthew Perry, I’m hiring.

After watching the finale of Flavor of Love for the billionth time (and now the reunion special), I have to wonder how much crap was handed to Flavor Flav by his Public Enemy buddies. Crying all over the place! Who will ever believe now that Flav is a tough, scary man? (But, did anyone ever think that? My upbringing was not one in which Flavor Flav was a household name.)

All right. I really need a nap, which might explain the overly crabby tone of this mess.




4 responses

30 10 2006

Man, that sucks. But I’d rather sacrafice makeup instead of needles 😉

Did you get one of those weird blow jobs in Detroit–where you step into that porta-potty shaped thing and the blow air all over you? What exactly is the purpose of that???

30 10 2006

That’s ridiculous! I was going to suggest that they’re pocketing the makeup they make people leave, but you beat me too it. At least they didn’t suggest that you ditch the needles, because that would have been a tragedy.

31 10 2006

Well, I’m just glad that you’re back home safe and sound. TSA is evil, by the way – not that I need to tell you this. I’ll refrain from posting what will surely become a huge rant about security, searches, and waste of governmnent resources, but I will say that I don’t like it. When we were flying to Frankfurt they made us take our CATS out of their travel bags so they could be scanned. Have you ever tried to carry a frigging spastic cat through a metal detector in a crowded, noisy airport? Let me tell you, it’s not fun. On the other side, the TSA employee who was screening me complained bitterly about the cat hair, and was being a total prick to me in general. Until my husband came through – then he decided that friendly joking would be a better option. Fine. Then he confinscated hubster’s Zippo. Of course, he shouldn’t have brought it. But when you’re making a trans-continental move, the last thing you’re thinking about is Zippos. I’m sure that security asshat is using it to this day.

Sorry. I write bad novels in response to pretty much everything you say, I know… Glad there weren’t any problems with the needles and hope that you had a good nap upon your return. Is it bad that I’m wishing you had poked someone in the eye with the mascara?

1 11 2006

Like the new blog, still wonderfuly random and knitty, but why the move? what at BLOGGER made you want to move? I’m not having any problems(yet).

Good for you having a long sleep till 6am, have you thought of drinking decafe.

A fan of Billy S, you keep getting cooler

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