Needed: Voo Doo Doll

2 09 2006

And this is not a voo doo doll for ill-will (read: death), this is a voodoo doll for success. Or accomplishment. Completion of sorts. You see, I used to be married. Through a series of gross misfortunes, my children and I ended up in the same state, after several blissful years apart, as my ex-husband. He is enrolled in medical school on a scholarship with the US Navy. He is currently on a leave of absence from the Navy and possibly on hiatus from the DO classes. I want him to sucessfully complete medical school and end his LOA from the Navy so that his fat, hateful, worthless ass will be sent to who knows where but hopefully somewhere wretched. That way, my children and I can move to Oregon to live near my brother and younger sister. Oh, and in that case I also need a voodoo doll to convince JungleJim to come with us.
And no, I don’t want to pray, prayer is for pure hearts with good intentions. This which I want would be best served by a voodoo doll.
I thank you kindly for your help.




8 responses

2 09 2006

How about a knit voodoo bunny?

2 09 2006

Here’s a link to the pattern:

2 09 2006
Penny Karma

How ’bout this – I’ll pray for your happiness.

And for your ex to fall into a nest of angry fire ants.

2 09 2006

i defy anyone to find better women anywhere. other than my sisters.

2 09 2006

maybe you should add some wee little cojones to the pattern, cos it sounds like ex has misplaced his.
Also note that the voodoo bonny does NOT have its head stuck up it’s @ss.

3 09 2006

Can’t you and the kiddos move to OR w/out him? Or does he still see them quite a bit? Wait, if they’re younger, that might not work. Yeah don’t listen to me, I don’t know what I’m saying.
Can you at least convince the kids to come back with the contents of his hairbrush to make the voodoo doll truly authentic?

8 09 2006

These are in the Interweave Summer 2005 issue:

I’m no wiccen, but you could say…

Knit one up in a color you know ex looks like a washed out hag in, drop it on a map in say, Siberia, wrap it all up and burn it.

Then you could knit another one in a color you know JungleJim looks tasty hot in, drop it something from Victoria’s Secret, wrap it all up and put it under the mattress.


8 09 2006
Nichole R.

There’s a pattern for a knitted one at this link… I wish you the best!–>

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